Friday, 4 July 2008

With these wings...

"When all else matters but nothing else exists. He sat. No real reason to fly. "

So here it is. My first words, in my first post of my first ever blog (the title, like with my essays, I choose to write last) and I start with a quote from my own work. Nice.

This is a line from a play I wrote as part of a project when studying at Dartington College of Arts (R.I.P). The piece itself was an enquiry into context related to my work. I set myself rules and boundaries in order to attempt to record the change of context, the influence it had and the relationship that then grew between it, and my writing. For too many weeks I bored myself senseless with a routine in order to try and create text. And despite my close encounter with boarders of sanity, the piece became a small success. A deep, layered, emotional and, on occasion, amusing monologue (performed by the amazing Reiki Dave) became the product of this journey. The quote I have used to open this blog is a representation of many aspects of circumstance, context and my life (to a degree).

I remember writing this line. I remember sitting in a dingy little hole that I was living in at the time. One room. No windows. A single bed, right next to a tiny cupboard with a 'Russell Hobbs' hob on top as my kitchen. Just beside the 'kitchen' was the toilet and shower. The room itself was not big enough to be called a double bedroom (You couldn't even squeeze a double bed in it and I had my kitchen, toilet and shower to fit in!) I remember watching some birds outside through the door to the cave. I remember thinking about a million different things I could have been doing. But I had to stick to the rules I had set for this project, so therefore had to continue this particular routine based on walking. I also remember considering where I was. The cave, Devon, Dartington College of Arts, just generally considering my surroundings.
I moved out very shortly after, got a first for the piece and eventually my degree.

'He sat. No real reason to fly'
Now, the reason I have decided to use this quote as first impression for my first blog is represented by this short, breezed over tale.

I was reminded of the quote, the play and the situation behind it when filling in the 'about me' section of this blog site.
In it I have given a short burst of information, obviously, 'about me'. Where I grew up, before coming to Devon and a little bit about the in between.
I went to Dartington, largely as an escape. I had lived a life for a couple of years that were not the nicest, I had had enough. I realised I had wings, and decided to use them. On this occasion a couple of half arsed A levels and a creative mind. I had reason to fly. And did, four hundred miles.
Whilst at Uni, I found myself watching the birds that had made their nest in the bottom of the hedge as close to the food put out for them everyday as possible. they didn't fly. They didn't have to. I did. about one hundred yards away but a million miles in many ways.

I set up this blog because it was advised. I am in the process of setting up a website for the same reason. A year after I graduated I am looking at the birds again. This time I am standing behind a bar, pouring pints with my first class honours degree.
If you have read my 'about me' you may see that I am about to fly. Not far. Down the road to Cornwall where I am about to do my Masters (not in pint pulling).

The question I have to ask myself is, why do I have to wait to see the birds before I decide to fly?
Maybe I am not alone in wondering, but certainly for me it seems I wait too long before I make a move to better myself. Is this the way we learn? And maybe more importantly does it really matter if we get there in the end?

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